musing of a mother
by chocomoon
Summary: a soppy little ff... Constance's thoughts as she looks at someone very special... hope you like it... a little review for a little baby-fic? ;


WW is (sadly!) not mine, nor are the characters...

sorry if lately I haven't written anything... but this year... EXAMS! God there's no end to this torture...

nonetheless here I am... writing and reading... escaping my school books that keep following me... I really need an holiday...

I'm in mood of baby-fic of course with our favourite potion mistress as mummy to be... mummy... HB... mummy... HB... mummy... HB... mummy... HB... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAhhh! love the thought of a preg HB! ok,ok, holiday first, trip to he department of Neuropsychiatry after...

if someone wants to make me happy without a reason write me a baby-fic! lovelovelovelovelove it !

my bedroom is quite now... no more screams, no more crying... even this old castel is silent tonight...

Amelia is sleeping peacefully in a armchair at our side... she insisted to stay with us... to help... dear Amelia...

Davina and Imogen went to bed a few hours ago... after there were sure we would havet been ok... sometimes I tend to forget how caring people can be... I cannot help it... it's the way I have been brought up.. with nobody there to care for me, surronded just by pain and hate... but I don't want to think about the past, not now that my future lies in my arms...

Now it's just me and you, lit by the light of a candle... it's only us...

And now I finally look at you.

My daughter.

My little Sophia.

You're smaller than what you should been, but you're nevertheess beautiful... so perfect...

and your mine... I still cannot believe it... but here you are, resting on my chest from the fatigue of being born... probably it was for you as painful and scary as it was for me... my little baby...

Fair soft skin, baby-blu eyes with the longest eyeslashes I've seen on a newborn... now that you're asleep they're resting on the round courve of you slightly chubby cheecks...

your lips, I cannot wait to see how greedly they will rest on my breast, when I will be feeding you... it's a though that thrill and at the same time scare me... the way you will depend on me... the way I will depend on you... I already care for you so much .

With you I am no longer alone. And you will never be... you will grow surronded by all the love you deserve... with aunt Imogen, Aunt Davina and Granny Amelia... and with me... your mother...

Mother.

What a strange word to describe me... me... a... mother...

If my pupils were to see me know... their strict Ice Queen crying softly looking at her newborn baby girl... thinking about how important that tiny, frail baby is for her... but I cannot help it... I'm a mix of emotion... a mess of hormones... here it is, I'm laughing... pain and joy, fear and happiness, I'm feeling... I don't know what I'm feeling...

the only real, tangible thing in this moment, it's you.

The way you fit in my arms...

The position of your little head on my breast.

Your soft breating. It's almost like a music in my ears.

I run a finger on the side of your face, almost not touching you, I don't want to wake you... and yet, as if you had been listenig to my thoughs, you stir and open those big eyes of yours, looking without esitation at me.

You catch my breath... I don't know what to do know... I've been a mother only for the past four hours... I'm scared: of you, of me, of hurting you, of not being able to give you enough love... but I love you... God if I do...

again you seem to guess my thoughts, my fears... you eyes so bright, you're so little...

Still looking at me you lift your hands at my face, wet with tears... I take your small hand in mine, I left a light kiss on it... hoping you will understand how much this all is difficult for me...

and in fact you do... with a big yawn that makes me smile throuth the tears, you hold tight on my fingers and fall aspleep again... knowing that somehow we will make it, now that we are together...

sleep my little baby... sleep my sweet Sophia...


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